Im at strip club and am horny
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
