whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
