On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
