Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
