last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
