how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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