My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You've changed since you got that strap on
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
