Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
