barbara walters just said penis...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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