i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
