in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
