sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
