you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
