Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
