What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
