quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
