dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
