Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
