woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
