sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
