I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
