If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
