so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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