forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize