just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
