At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just sucked dick on a ferry
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
