Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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