Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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