So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
