after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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