Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
