Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
