how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
