her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
