Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
