I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
