remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
