Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
