Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
