I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
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