I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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