Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize