Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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