i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
