My hair reeks of homosexuality.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
we're so committed to being not committed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
