My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
