I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
