she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
