My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
