We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
