i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
