I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
