As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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