mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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