is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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