I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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