Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
