my sisters under your porch take her home
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
