doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
