I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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