i already hear my dad disowning me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
vagina is talking i cant
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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