The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
