Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
