I just threw up on my dentist
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
