i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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