walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize