id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
