Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
