do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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