I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize