so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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