went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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